What Does My Self-Esteem Affect?

It seems that your self-esteem affects everything, and it really does because it is not only your mental state, but also your health! Self-esteem affects beliefs, goals, habits, lifestyle, relationships, choices, thoughts, behavior, self-confidence, self-concept, self-image, mood, stress, and attitude!  Wow!  Clearly, self-esteem affects a lot which is just the more reason why you should have a constantly strengthening self-esteem! If you respect yourself, you will have high morals, high morals cause wise choices, habits, strong beliefs, and relationships.  Remember the first post that talked about choices?  I hope you now see how self-esteem affects your choices, great and small!

“Life is funny. Things change, people change, but you will always be you, so stay true to yourself and never sacrifice who you are for anyone.” ~ Zayn Malik

Wisdom of Eleanor Roosevelt

Eleanor Roosevelt is one of my role models, she was strong and wise, and never let anyone or anything take her down!

5 Ways to Strengthen Your Self-Esteem

No matter how self-confident you are, there is always going to be room for improvement!  Here are five tips on how to strengthen your self-esteem.  The best part? Often times people think that to feel better about themselves they have to physically change, when all you really have to do is change the way you view yourself!  Follow these tips and positively change the way you see yourself:

1.       Focus on the positive – When you look in the mirror or think of yourself think about all the amazing things you’re capable of and how beautiful you are! Don’t think that you’d be happier if you lost 5lbs or had smaller a nose, or plumper lips, instead think that you’re healthy, strong, and talented!

2.       Identify which aspects you can realistically change – Humans are perfectly imperfect, don’t ever forget that, there is no person who is “perfect,” everyone had physical and mental ideas they wish they could change.  Instead of focusing on losing weight, focus on getting fit.  Rather than hating your hair, change up the color.  Don’t forget that perfect people are real and real people aren’t perfect!  Be a real person and allow your confidence to shine through!

3.       Set goals – I don’t think anything feels better than accomplishing something you’ve worked so hard for.  Set a goal and start working toward it, it may take a while to see the finish line, but when you reach your goal, it will all be worth it!

4.       Tell yourself to STOP with the negativity – When you hear yourself starting to be negative, just tell yourself to stop!  Don’t be hurtful toward yourself with negative thoughts and don’t forget to be positive toward others as well.  If you are kind toward others, you tend to be kinder toward yourself as well! Realize that a person is more than their outfit or hairstyle for the one day, instead appreciate their personality and uniqueness.

5.       Give yourself (and others) 3 compliments every day – When you look in the mirror, point out something really unique and beautiful about yourself, when you are kind to another person, appreciate your personality, think of all the positive things that happened during the day.  The more often you point out positive things about yourself, the easier it becomes to point out beautiful qualities of others.

**If the above tips don’t help and you or someone you know feels helpless, contact a trusted adult, teacher, guidance counselor, parent, therapist, or friend.  You may need more serious help and please seek it!  Get help before low self-esteem morphs into another disorder!

National Suicide Prevention Hotline – 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

National Hopeline Network – 1- 800-SUICIDE (784-2433) or 1-800-442-HOPE (4673)

The world wouldn’t be the same without you! 

What A BEaUtiful Way to Think of Personality...

What Affects Your Self-Esteem?

Your self-esteem is affected by countless things, but I’m going to focus on a few main ideas that affect how you view yourself the most:

1.       Puberty – As we enter puberty, our bodies begin to change, physically, emotionally, and mentally.  We begin to compare ourselves to our peers and compete with them.  You care about what others think and it becomes more difficult to let your true self shine through!  Here’s the problem: everyone changes and grows differently, so by comparing yourself, you are cheating yourself, because what might take your classmate one year to develop into, may take you three.  Accept yourself and know that you’re beautiful, inside and out!

2.       Media – It is more of an impact now more than ever, because media portrays images of women that aren’t realistic.  We see TV commercials, magazine articles, and pictures of girls pop up in our newsfeed that we think are perfect and we once again, begin to compare ourselves without giving ourselves any credit of how we are beautiful!  Keep in mind that the images you’re seeing are often airbrushed and photo shopped to create unrealistic ideas so the company can sell more products.  Don’t fall into the trap of wasting time trying to be someone you’re not!

3.       Mood – Did you ever think that your mental status could affect your self-esteem? It is probably the biggest culprit of self-esteem, both negative and positive!  Often, if you have an optimistic outlook on life you will give yourself the credit you deserve and make wise choices.

4.       Families & School – Sometimes, family members may have their own insecurities, but take them out on you or coaches want you to look a certain way for a sport.  Unfortunately, these things lead to you feeling criticized and depleted. Calmly let them know that you are your own person and don’t appreciate their constant negativity, because they usually don’t even realize that they’re hurting you!  Use your voice!

5.       Peers – It may feel like there are always certain people trying to tear you down or people who takes jokes a little too far.  Often, those people are jealous of you or don’t realize they are saying hateful things.  Just like with family members, let them know that what they’re saying hurts you and you don’t appreciate how you’re being treated.

6.       YOU – Yes, you affect your own self-esteem!  Each day, you have the choice to listen to the negativity of others or use to make you stronger!  Make the right choice and empower yourself with positive thoughts and surround yourself with healthy relationships!

Why Can't I Look Like a Runway Model?

It seems people will spend their entire life trying to conform to a model appearance and the result isn’t as expected no matter how many treatments or diets they’ve tried.  Media is our biggest impact of trying to show us how we should look and act.  Magazines are filled with diets that claim to allow you to lose 10lbs in 10 days, get glowing skin, or look five years younger! It feels as though none of these magazines take time to focus on natural beauty or how to look healthy and right for your body without changing you!  You can want to change yourself, and that is normal, but be sure that the changes are healthy and positive.  Healthy changes take time – don’t forget that!

When you check out the most recent issues of popular magazines or see ads pop up on the side of your browsing page, rather than think how you need to change, ask yourself “what is wrong with this ad?”  If you’ve never noticed, there is typically small print under the ad that read “results not typical.”  Don’t conform to the ideas of anyone on how you should physically change because you are beautiful in your own way and the world wouldn’t be the same without you!

In April of 2011, Galia Slayen, a student from Oregon, suffered from an eating disorder in high school.  She decided she wanted to take a stand against anorexia and show that she was stronger than what was trying to bring her down!  With a Barbie look-alike that she constructed herself, she appeared on the Today Show, explaining to young girls that real girls are perfectly imperfect.  She showed that a Barbie to scale would be around 5 feet 9 inches in height, have a 36-inch bust, an 18-inch waist, and 33-inch hips.  The ending result wasn’t very physically pretty and not a realistic role model for young growing girls!

“Love yourself. It's more than having confidence, it is knowing deep inside yourself that you are unique. Accepting yourself means that you love yourself for the way you are right at that moment. It doesn't mean that you stop making improvements to yourself. It just means that you don't have to change to be lovable and good enough.”  ~ Justice Cabral quotes

“Once you’ve accepted your flaws no one can use them against you.” ~ Unknown

True Beauty

But I Want to Be Popular!

What does it even mean to be popular anymore?  Is being popular really how it is portrayed in the movies?  Are they the girls wearing skirts and heels, not a hair out of place, always perfecting their make-up, and are invited to every party or are they the girls who you could go to for anything, who maintain perfect grades and know their true friends? Are popular girls the ones who are the most physically beautiful or are the popular girls the girls with the most beautiful personality? 

Please girls, don’t try to satisfy the wrong “popular” crowd, because negative peer-pressure may take you down the wrong path.  I know many friends who started hanging out with girls who I thought were “popular” and they have completely changed - they don’t care about school as much, if they have to cheat on a math assignment, it’s okay, they go to parties on the weekend, and just don’t make wise choices like they used to. 

Don’t get me wrong; there is nothing bad about changing and growing, it is part of human nature!  Each year, we discover a little more about ourselves, our fashion sense, who we want to hang out with, and what we want our priorities to be.  Just ensure that during all of your growing phases you’re staying true to yourself and make positive changes that ten years from now you’ll be proud of! 

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.”

― Harvey Fierstein

“When you're different, sometimes you don't see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn't.”

― Jodi Picoult, Change of Heart

Why is Self-Esteem Even Important?

Now that you understand how self-esteem is defined, you are probably wondering why it is important.  My very first post gives you an idea of why it is important, but there are several other reasons also.  In my opinion, the most important is that those with high self-esteem know themselves and will stay true to their own heart no matter how many people are trying to bring them down or change their thoughts.  If a person understands themselves, they tend to know their own morals and make decisions based off of those morals.  A person with high self-esteem is less likely to fall into a trap of making poor choices – drinking, drugs, not studying for finals, trying to fit in with the “popular” crowd.  High self-esteem literally affects every other part of your life! 

How Has Self-Esteem Affected Me?

Rather than just tell people why the nation’s youth would benefit from a stronger self-esteem, I thought I could share with you my personal story and opinion.  My story isn't that impacting or exciting; I've been fortunate enough to not suffer from an eating disorder or depression, and have never really had that low of self-esteem. 

I personally think a person is either born with self-confidence or they’re not, but either way, your confidence is going to be tested time and time again and even those who once had a strong self-confidence as a child may suffer from a lowering self-esteem as they grow into an adult.  Self-confidence can and will change, for better or for worse.  

I attended a small, private school from kindergarten through sixth grade with the same 15 students the entire time.  Rules were strongly enforced and we knew each other extremely well – we knew each other’s grades, strengths, and weaknesses, we knew who could take jokes and who couldn't.  There were advantages and disadvantages of knowing the same 15 children your entire childhood.  After sixth grade, we would all attend a public middle school where all the schools of my hometown would pool together at and become one class of 250 plus students (quite a jump from 15!) I spent the entire summer after sixth grade counting the days until the first day of 7^th grade because it felt the coming opportunities would be endless – new friends, different classes, and simply an adventure.  I felt both confident and nervous that summer morning as I prepared myself for the day that I thought would never arrive!  My mom dropped me off just like normal, but I soon realized this was not even close to what I thought it would be!  Long story short, I transferred to a much smaller school and my class currently has around 50 students!  I received a lot of backlash from old classmates for switching schools and found it difficult to walk into my new school on the first day not knowing anyone.  I guess that’s when my self-esteem took the greatest leap!  I soon realized that I would have to forget everything that happened at the school I barely survived two days at and allow my confidence to shine through upon this new adventure!  I had to trust myself in transferring schools and make the choice that was right for me.  I've learned to accept my flaws because they shape me into who I am and no one else can ever be me! Because of my current school, I have truly been able to spread my wings and don’t let the opinions of others, both past and current, affect who I want to be and how I want to dream. 

 “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”  ~ E.E. Cummings

What is Self-Esteem?

I believe that before you can teach anyone about anything you must define your main topic.  So, what is self-esteem?  After pages and pages of notes about self-esteem, I've been able to compile everyone’s different opinion to define self-esteem as: a self-respect and confidence of oneself, how a person views their personal worth that literally impacts every other part of one’s life.

The Making of a Project

It’s the student taking his or her own life because they can’t go a minute without thinking of the bullies’ hateful words, the girl who feels so alone she’s turned her insecurities into an eating disorder, the young man stealing from the mall because peer pressure claims it’s “cool.”

 While scrolling through my news feed, paging through the weekly magazines, or just skimming the local newspaper, my eyes are constantly falling across stories of violence and poor choices.  Many people read these stories, but think there is nothing they can do.   FCCLA has helped me see that I can take a stand against not only bullying, but also enforce positive choices.  It all begins with self-esteem and my goal is to allow other girls my age to see that too. 

Every day we face choices, simple ones such as the choice to get out of bed or stay there for just five more minutes or the choice to spend time studying for the science exam tomorrow.  However, we also face choices that may impact us for the rest of our life; are you going to the party Saturday where you know there will be drinking?  Will you skip class because you want to prove you’re not a “goodie-goodie?”   We don’t often realize that we have the choice to listen to rude remarks from others or have the choice to care if others agree with our fashion sense or the sports we play.  Our self-esteem and self-confidence must be greater than the remarks of others.  We must be able to know that we are beautiful and no one can change that.  We must make the choice to trust ourselves and all that we are.  By strengthening our own self-esteem we can strengthen that of others.  We can make come together to make wiser choices and STOP the Violence.

“Confidence is the only key. I know a lot of people who aren’t traditionally ‘beautiful’ — not symmetrical or perfect-bodied or perfect-skinned. But none of that matters because all that shines through is their confidence, humor and comfort with themselves. I can’t think of any better representation of beauty than someone who is unafraid to be herself.”   ~ Emma Stone

Thanks for Stopping By!

Hello! My name is Stanzi and I'm a member of Family, Career, and Community Leaders of America (FCCLA for short). This year I am focusing on the National Program of STOP the Violence through my project titled Project BEaUtiful. I hope to inspire girls to feel more self-confident through various presentations, crafts, and blog posts! Please let me know what you think as your input is greatly appreciated!  Thank you for stopping by - I hope to see you again soon!